I’ve never said “no thank you” more times in five minutes than I did while walking through Hamburg’s busy red-light district where aggressive women tried luring passing men into brothels along the city’s “most sinful mile.” 

Prostitution is legal in Germany and sex work in Hamburg is alive and well, especially in St. Pauli where my hostel was located.

I didn’t plan on stopping in Hamburg. It was a short train ride from Amsterdam and a gateway to Scandinavia. However, I’d find out pretty quickly I was meant to be there. Not for the prostitutes. Surely not. But for a chance meeting that left me with a new outlook on the age-old question: What is enough? 

Hostel life is so random. I check-in to a new place every three to four nights and get assigned to a 4, 6 or 8-bed room. It can be wonderful or dreadful. One night I’ll meet someone from a country or continent I’ve never visited and we’ll sightsee together or grab dinner. Another night I’m bunked with someone much less pleasant who smells like they haven’t showered for weeks and doesn’t even say hello. How rude! 

This night I was bunked with a young tech entrepreneur from Lubbock, Texas who doesn’t aspire to own a big house or big boat but wants to make a big difference in the world. 

I’m embarrassed I can’t recall this wholesome human’s name. I think it was Braden. We got dinner together, for God’s sake, but I was so focused on his life philosophy that I forgot his name. The next day, he was gone. That’s how hostel life works. We’ll just call him Braden until I have time for more sleuthing. 

We both were overly polite to the sex workers who we passed on our way to dinner. Their aggressiveness can be compared to actors in a haunted house who approach quickly and seemingly from thin air in the dark but stop short of touching you. 

The conversation transitioned from prostitution to church mission trips — naturally — once we got to the restaurant. 

Braden grew up going on short missions around the world with his parents — usually to far-off villages with limited resources — giving him an up-close look at people’s struggle for food, water, work and good health. His parents had full-time jobs that prevented them from doing more volunteer work; however, because of their careers they felt their impact on the missions could be greater with financial support rather than on-the-ground presence. Much like his parents, Braden’s motivation for success in life is tied to how much he’ll be able to help others. “I don’t need much. I just need enough,” he said as we sat across from each other chowing down on tasty pork sandwiches. Braden just started his own company and feels he’s positioning himself to create a big impact. He hopes to make a lot of money so he can give a lot away. 

“I just need enough.”

Everyone has a different barometer for “enough.” Perhaps being happy, healthy and employed is enough. Maybe you consider enough as being able to afford the extravagant lifestyle of your dreams. Maybe just being alive is enough. Personally, I calculate “enough” in two buckets. The first, meaningful relationships with family and friends that involve giving and receiving love. The second bucket, money to fulfill financial obligations and save for the future. I think we need “enough” from both buckets to thrive.

I grew up in a middle-class family and my mom would remind us often “we are not rich but we are rich with love.” The first bucket was not just full, it was overflowing. 

Financially, many of us calculate “enough” as the money leftover after paying our mortgage, utilities, taxes, grocery and shopping bills and child/pet care. The list goes on. If you can’t pay your bills, you don’t have enough. If the money leftover is minimal, you might say you hardly have enough. If you have money in excess of your expenditures, you might feel comfortable saying you have enough or more than enough. 

Some people spend $1,500 a year on cigarettes. Others spend the same amount on Starbucks, a gym membership, clothes or playing Blackjack in Las Vegas. I spend close to $1,500 a year on coffee! Everyone has something. Maybe being able to afford a CrossFit membership or monthly massages is part of your personal “enough” calculation. That is okay! How you spend your money is no one’s business; however, I think where many of us often fall short is failing to regularly prioritize others in our personal budgets. 

What if we all added a “charity” line item to our budgets? What if we all set aside two or three hours for volunteering every month? Think about the difference we could collectively make in our communities. There are so many people in so many places who need help. Instead of ignoring people’s needs we need to seek out ways to help. Truthfully, even an hour of your time or a few bucks can go a long way. 

If you set aside $10-$15 a month that would be $120-$180 a year. That could help a child get an outfit and school supplies for the new school year. How about $100 a month, $1,200 a year? That would put a big dent in a family’s yearly grocery bill or help a nonprofit fulfill its mission. 

I’m not suggesting people deplete their emergency funds but I do think we should all reflect on how we can use our resources — time, energy, money — to help those around us.

Just down the street from the hostel was a co-working space with a big message on the glass window — “LOVE WHAT YOU DO.” — and a much smaller message on a piece of paper just inside the window — “WE ARE ON A MISSION.” I think loving what you do extends beyond your career, your hobbies and your family to your everyday actions: how you treat people, how you lift people up, how you look for ways to help. We should all be on a mission, like Braden, to make the world a better place.

This topic is top of mind for me not just because I met Braden but because I’ll soon get a clean slate after my European trip. I get to decide yet again where to live, how to live and what to prioritize. Here’s one thing that is true for us all: reducing personal financial obligations and freeing up personal time allows more room to help others. 

Imagine a world where we want to succeed because we believe it will help others succeed. If the only goal is doing well for ourselves or our own families too many people will be left behind. 

I didn’t plan on stopping in Hamburg but life is about the journey.